Fed up with street crime, Australian mothers are taking up jujitsu and getting ready to kick some serious butt. Credit: Getty Images
"M" is for the multiple contusions she gave you.
"U" is for all the food you'll have to gum.
Because "M" is for how she'll mess you up, and all your crying will not save you.
Put them all together, they spell MUM.
OK, so it's not exactly the same ode to motherhood Eddy Arnold sang back in the days of June Cleaver. But they're singing a different tune these days in Australia.
Mothers Down Under are baking brownies, knitting baby booties, kicking butts and taking names.
For those about to rock, we envy you. These lullaby renditions of favorite rock songs weren't around when our teens were tots.
And while we've got nothing against Brahms, we love the idea of starting baby off right with a little AC/DC, Coldplay, Rolling Stones, Radiohead or any one of the 30 or so bands covered by Rockabye Baby to date. Soothing mellotrons, vibraphones and bells replace guitars and drums, and the volume is turned way down to protect your little one's ears.
Oh, and don't sweat the lyrics -- all the lullabies are instrumental, so even Kanye West is an option at bedtime.
Take your next picnic to a whole new level with WASARA disposable tableware, a line of gorgeous Japanese-designed products made to fit comfortably in the hand, while beautifully framing your culinary creations.
But not only do the WASARA plates, bowls, cups, tumblers and serving trays look great, they're also "green," made from tree-free renewable materials -- think sugar cane fiber, bamboo and reed pulp -- so they're fully biodegradable and compostable.
Now, if we could just figure out how to keep the ants off the blanket.
Your school could rule with half a million dollars. Credit: Kohl's
What would your child's school do with $500,000? Start an art program? Outfit a new computer or science lab? Save a music program? Tell the folks at Kohl's Department Stores, and you could help bring those dreams to life.
In celebration of the 10th anniversary of its Kohl's Cares philanthropic program, the company is donating a total of $10 million to 20 kindergarten through 12th grade schools across the United States.
The donations are funded by the Kohl's Cares merchandise program, which sells special merchandise, including plush toys and books, and donates 100 percent of net profits to benefit children's health and education initiatives nationwide.
Visit the Kohl's Facebook page to submit your school, cast your votes, view the official rules and get more information.
You kiss your mother with that mouth? Illustration by Christopher Healy
Recently, we met a woman who revealed to us her best-kept parenting secret: For 30 minutes each week, in the privacy of her home, she lets her 8- and 11-year-old kids use all the swear words they can come up with. We were instantly struck by how brilliant an idea this is -- letting her kids use "bad words" not only lessens their shock value, it also allows her to hear firsthand what her kids are "learning" from week-to-week.
That got us thinking about our own kids and swearing, and we realized that we probably bear a great deal of responsibility for our kids' questionable vocabularies. And, apparently, we're not alone.
Nearly three-quarters of moms and dads admit to cursing at another driver with their child in the car, according to a recent Evenflo "Savvy Parents Survey" of 1,000 parents with kids younger than 5. Another 28 percent say they've flipped the bird, and 21 percent have rolled down their window to scream at another driver.
We asked ParentDish editors and writers how they handle the issue of cursing in their homes. Have your own swearing story to share? Add a (bleepin') comment below.
Geri Brin has the perfect guy for any single woman looking to meet Mr. Right. Her son.
His name is Colby and according to mama matchmaker, he is one of New York City's most eligible bachelors, 31, physically fit, 6'2" and a college graduate.
Brin, 63, is so confident that her son is the #1 catch of the year she launched a website this week to prove her point. Date My Single Kid, part of the FabOverFifty.com social networking site for baby boomers, is designed for parents, like Brin, to help their children find ideal mates.
Although FabOverFifty attracted 40,000 members soon after it launched five months ago, the boomer mom knew something was still missing.
"When you are a parent, a common topic you talk about among your friends is your children. What are they doing, who are they dating, where are they working, stuff like that," Brin tells ParentDish. "As a mother, I can tell you I have spent over six years setting Colby up with dozens of girls I hear about from my pals. Then one day it came to me, why not create a place on the site so other moms can find someone for their children, too."
Save money, time and the environment with the SodaStream Jet Fountain soda maker, which turns tap water into seltzer or soda in fewer than 30 seconds. Just fill the bottle, twist it onto the base, push the button to fizz and -- lickety split -- you've got a liter of sparkling water to drink as is, or flavor to taste.
Best of all, the SodaStream comes with two reusable bottles, so you'll never have to lug a heavy soda bottle home again or hassle with empties in the trash or recycling bin.
I am a stay-at-home mom of two little girls ages 3 and 2. Lately, I feel like I am hitting the wall. I'm easily stressed with the kids when I used to have endless patience. I am not engaging with them as much and am deferring to the park and TV more and more. My 3-year-old loves role-playing games and I am just not into it. Help ... I don't want to be this kind of mother, but I also don't want them to completely depend on me for stimulation or a playmate.
-Played Out
Dear Played,
Getting through the basic tasks of taking care of two young children can wear out even the most devoted caregiver. Most parents confess to struggling with the temptation to use television (or these days, computer games) to get much needed breaks from the near-constant interaction demanded by young children.
So take comfort in the fact that what you're experiencing is normal and understandable.
If you're swimming in a sea of paperwork instead of playing in the pool with the kids, it may be time for a serious home office makeover. The NeatDesk scanner and digital filing system transforms all the paper on your desk into organized digital records, so you can quickly clear the clutter and tame the trash.
The included NeatWorks software captures and organizes info from receipts, business cards and documents to help you track expenses, build a contact database and create editable PDF files.
Declutter now, and you may actually make it through those top 10 beach reads by Labor Day.
PC and Mac versions available at The Neat Company for $399.95.
If, like most of us, you're more Julie than Julia in the kitchen, you may need some help making those home-baked treats look a little more festive.
The Kuhn Rikon Frosting Decorating Pen is an easy-to-use tool that lets you frost your way to perfection. Great for kids and adults, this fun-to-use gadget allows you to easily add decorative touches, creative shapes and fancy script to your cakes, cupcakes and cookies -- oh, and it even comes with a nozzle for making filled cupcakes. Hungry yet?
We won't discourage you from learning how to DIY it in your spare time, but, frankly, we'd rather be outside playing with the kids.
The kids are out of school and we're busy looking for ways to while the day away without losing our marbles. When we've had a spare minute this week, this is what we've been reading. Enjoy!
If you thought your days of living in a frat house were over when you became a parent, think again. Read this absolutely side-splitting comparison of Greek life and toddler life from blogger Brenna at Suburban Snapshots.
Speaking of toddlers, they grow up fast. Got a birthday coming up soon? Don't panic: LilSugar has a great inspiration guide for fantastic -- and doable -- birthday cakes for even the most persnickety birthday prince or princess.
You know who is scared of babies? Lady Gaga, that's who. That's OK, because we're a little scared of her, too. Parents Ask reveals the pop sensation's fears.
Does having a kid make you want to give up sex forever? It doesn't have to. Get your mojo back in the sack with these four sex tips every mom should know from our friends at HybridMom.
Ask the right questions to find the right caregiver. Credit: Getty Images
Finding the right person to care for your precious little ones can be a daunting task, but there are ways to make the process as painless as possible.
First things first -- do you need a baby sitter or a nanny? There is a difference, says Genevieve Thiers, founder and CEO of Sittercity.com.
Baby sitters, she tells ParentDish, are part-time child care providers who typically come to your home, work less than 20 hours a week for an hourly rate and don't identify child care as their primary profession.
A nanny is similar to a baby sitter, but works more than 20 hours a week and sometimes even lives in your home. Nannies are generally paid by the week and have responsibilities beyond just watching the kids at home, like driving them around or preparing meals and light housekeeping.
Now that you know what kind of child care you need, where should you look? The Internet is a great resource, Thiers says.
Stop that! Put that down! Do you want me to turn this car around right now?
Being a parent is hard on your vocal cords, with all the cajoling, instructing and correcting we have to do in any given 24-hour period. Now you can take a break: Comedienne and mom Anita Renfroe condenses everything a parent needs to say in these hilarious three minutes and 16 seconds.
They should show this video in every delivery room in the world, just before the baby pops out. Now watch this, people -- because we said so.
Related: Rapping Mom Rhymes for Jesus
Demi Moore loves to tweet. Credit: Jesse Grant, Wireimage
It's been a long week around these parts, and we're looking forward to a chance to put our feet up and hang out with our pals in the blogosphere. Lots of great stuff out there to read this weekend, y'all, but we've taken all the hard work out of it for you. Here are our top picks for some leisurely reading. Enjoy!
Love Twitter? Love celebs? Love celeb moms? This is the post for you. Our good friends over at Babble put together another one of their awesome lists, and this time they're looking at Hollywood's Top 50 Twitter Moms. Oh, the things they tweet about their kids! Makes us realize that famous, gorgeous moms are just like us. Well, like us if we had a personal trainer.
Summer is upon us, and it's time to hit the open road with the family for some vacation fun. Before you go, though, check out some good, sensible travel tips from HybridMom. And MomLogic wants you to know that it may be cheaper to hold your baby on your lap when you fly, but for safety reasons you might want to consider getting your child his or her own seat.
Not everyone gets to take time off, and some moms are heading to the office during the warm summer weekdays. We love this slideshow of women's work fashion through the decades -- we particularly love the '60s looks. Thanks to wowOwow for the eye candy.
Is that a beer belly or a baby bump? Credit: conbon33, Flickr
Anyone who ever suffered the agony of asking a woman when she's expecting only to be told she isn't pregnant might understand why some commuters leave moms-to-be standing on the bus.
Two new surveys out of the United Kingdom report that pregnant women are rarely offered a seat on crowded public transportation, leaving them to stand while they deal with swollen ankles, nausea and other aches and pains, according to London's Daily Mail.
And while there may be some selfishness at play, many believe embarrassment stops commuters from asking moms to take a load off.
